Chapter 16
Together with El, who looked extremely displeased, we investigated the problematic prison.
There was no one inside, but the traces of someone living there were obvious.
"As expected, it looks like a person is living here, not a ghost."
"They've completely settled in. Seriously."
"Living in a place like this? They must be out of their mind."
Indeed, this wasn't an environment for any sane person to live in.
Rows of iron bars stood like an eerie ruin, exuding nothing but gloom.
Choosing to live in such a place was the mark of either a complete lunatic or someone who had no choice but to hide from the world.
[Master, I’m detecting a life form.]
"Is it that person from before?"
[No. This response…?!]
The AI’s sudden serious tone made me tense up.
"Meow."
But when a cat’s cry followed, I felt completely deflated.
[Oh! It’s a kitty! How cute!]
A cat popped out from an old piece of furniture.
It was a common street cat with mackerel-like stripes.
"Is it being kept by the illegal resident?"
As I tried to move past the cat to inspect the interior further—
"Meooow!!"
The cat jumped onto a worn-out table, growling and glaring at me.
It thumped its tail against the table as if expressing displeasure.
A cat guarding a house? It wasn’t a dog, so this was ridiculous.
And yet, every time I moved, it blocked my way.
[Wow! The cat is guarding the house! How admirable!]
"So, it's actually protecting this place? A loyal cat indeed."
Even El seemed impressed by its dedication.
But hold on—this wasn’t even a proper house! This was a property belonging to my family, and this was the illegal residence of a trespasser!
"Meoow!!"
Yet the cat still stood in my way, its sharp gaze locked on me.
"Move. Get out of the way!"
"Meow!!"
"This is our building, you damn furball!"
Frustrated by the persistent interference, I reached out to gently push it aside.
"Meow!!"
The cat swatted my hand away with its paw.
This damn cat!
I tried to push it away with a bit more force, but the cat effortlessly dodged my hand and swatted it again.
"What?!"
Alright, let’s see who wins this!
I kept reaching for the cat, and every time, it slapped my hand away with its paw.
"This little—!!"
Annoyed by its unexpected resistance, I lunged forward to grab it.
"Meow!"
Just then, the cat suddenly leaped—
"Ugh!"
Something heavy struck my face, and I tumbled to the ground.
What just happened?!
[Master, you lost to a cat.]
What? This happened because of the cat?!
My mind went blank.
As frustration and disbelief washed over me, I felt a sharp pull in my neck. My temper flared.
"You damn crazy cat!!"
I charged at it again.
"Ugh!"
Once more, the same thing happened.
"You wretched animal!"
I lunged again—
"Argh!"
And once again, I ended up sprawled on the floor.
"Huff… Huff…"
Even when I tried to get up again, I had no strength.
My mind went blank once more.
No matter how I looked at it...
[Master, you have suffered consecutive defeats against the cat.]
I lost.
I lost to a cat?
Of course, it's not like the cat beat me up and knocked me out.
I just ended up collapsing after chasing the cat as it nimbly dodged, getting hit a few times in the process until I ran out of stamina.
[The conclusion is that you lost.]
‘Shut up.’
"You there! You must not die!"
Like hell I’d die! If I died from getting beaten up by a cat, I’d be too embarrassed to even rest in peace. Damn it.
"Uwoooooh!!"
I mustered every ounce of strength and forced myself to my feet.
“Y-You’re safe! Thank goodness, my friend.”
El looked at me with genuine concern.
I felt unbearably ashamed.
[Master’s combat ability is below that of a stray cat. Even I did not anticipate this outcome.]
‘To be precise, it wasn’t my combat ability but my stamina that lost.’
[Wouldn’t that be even worse? Academically speaking, humans have greater stamina than cats.]
‘I know that, damn it!’
I knew I was just making excuses.
But this damn AI had no sense of human decency—it could’ve at least let it slide!
"Meow."
The cat still blocked my path, growling lowly, and I saw no way to win.
Using a tool?
[That would be disgraceful, wouldn’t it?]
Yeah, it would. My pride wouldn’t allow it.
This wasn’t a matter of efficiency—it was about dignity.
I stared at the damn cat.
Just when I had completely run out of options—
“My friend, I shall assist thee!”
El confidently stepped up beside me.
Despite his small frame, he looked dignified and dependable.
"Shall we fight together?"
"Indeed, we shall."
Seeing the determination in El’s eyes, I nodded in satisfaction.
Don’t blame us for making it 2 vs. 1.
At least we’re not using tools!
El and I proudly faced the cat.
And moments later—
“M-My friend….”
“Don’t talk to me. It’s too humiliating.”
El and I lay side by side on the ground.
[The two of you lost to a single cat.]
Though the interface window showed no expression, I could just feel the AI looking down on us in disdain.
[Cheer up, Master. No matter what happens, I will always be on your side.]
‘Shut up!’
Damn AI, who are you mocking?!
El and I lay there, glaring at the cat as it nonchalantly groomed itself, scratching its head with its back paw.
There’s no way that’s just an ordinary cat.
It must be some kind of legendary max-level cat from myths or something.
[According to my sensors, it’s just an ordinary cat.]
‘Shut up!! What do you know?!’
[Once again, I must emphasize—it’s just a regular cat.]
‘Just curse at me already!’
Ah, I feel like crying.
"Meow."
As if proclaiming its victory, the damn cat purred in satisfaction.
Watching it made my blood boil.
Screw dignity—should I just blast it with a Mana Blaster?
[Oh no! How could you harm such a loyal and devoted feline who cares for its master so much?]
‘Whose side are you even on?!’
Even without the AI’s input, I knew I couldn’t bring myself to do it.
For now, I should focus on recovering.
Getting beaten up by a cat hurt a lot more than I expected.
Just as I was blending in with the floor, I heard a voice.
[It's a biological response. It seems to be the same person as earlier.]
The moment I heard that, I sprang to my feet.
Seeing me, a man behind the cat jumped in shock and let out a scream.
“Ahhh!”
So it’s you! The one responsible for raising this damned cat!
I immediately pulled out my zapping wrench from the dimensional storage.
Then, dodging the cursed cat, I hurled the wrench straight at him.
*Zap!*
“Gaaaahhh!”
The illegal squatter dropped to the ground on the spot from my wrench strike.
“Meooow!”
As its owner collapsed, the cat, true to its treacherous nature, fled without a second thought.
[The cat got scared and ran away!]
Of course! Loyalty? As if! That’s the true nature of these damned felines!
Savoring a strange sense of victory, I clenched my fist in triumph.
“What’s going on?!”
Just then, Elle approached me, having arrived late to the scene.
I immediately opened the dimensional storage again and handed her a tool.
“Take this!”
What I gave Elle was a non-lethal beating baton designed for clean punishment without injuries.
“Beat him!!”
“Huh? Like… like this?”
At my words, Elle swung the baton.
*Whack!*
A satisfying sound echoed through the air.
I, too, stowed away the wrench and pulled out another baton, eagerly joining in.
*Smack!*
“Gaaahh!”
*Thwack!*
“P-please have mercy!”
*Whack! Thwack! Smack!*
“S-spare me!! Urghhh!”
With his movements restricted by the zapping wrench’s effect, the illegal squatter was mercilessly pummeled by two batons.
*Thwack!*
“My lady.”
“What?! If you have time to talk, hit him one more time!”
*Whack!*
“I know it’s odd for me to say this while beating him up, but shouldn’t we hear his story first?”
Elle’s suggestion made me pause the beating for a moment.
Well, we’ve hit him plenty by now. Maybe it’s time to hear him out.
“Urghhh… Ahhh…”
The illegal squatter lay sprawled on the floor, his clothes a mess from the beating. However, thanks to the baton’s special property, there wasn’t a single visible scar.
I crouched down to meet the eyes of the squatter lying on the floor and lowered my voice.
“Why were you illegally residing on someone else’s private property?”
At my question, the squatter’s eyes darted back and forth.
This bastard’s trying to think of an excuse.
I immediately swung the baton again.
*Whack!*
“Argh! Stop! I’m sorry! There’s a reason for this!!”
After taking another hit from the baton, the squatter slammed his head onto the floor and began to talk.
As I thought, guys like this only understand through pain.
“What is this so-called reason?”
“I-I was being pursued by the cult, and I ended up here….”
Hearing his words made my head spin.
The cult? Don’t tell me he’s talking about that doomsday-whatever cult that caused a scene on the train?
Why is this coming up again?
“The Doomsday Cult?”
“Yes! I’ve been running and running to escape their attention, and I somehow ended up here! I’m so sorry!”
The illegal squatter slammed his head onto the floor again.
“Ugh, those damned cultists. Why do they keep dragging me into their mess?”
Because of that cursed cult, I ended up disarming a bomb on that train—a task I never wanted to deal with in the first place.
“The Doomsday Cult, you say?”
“Are they people you know?”
El, with a rather serious expression, stepped in between me and the illegal resident.
“The Doomsday Cult. They’re widespread, regardless of status or profession, and they commit everything from minor crimes to acts of terrorism—a real thorn in the Empire’s side.”
Was it because I’d lived my whole life in a quiet countryside town that I didn’t know much about them? If even the Empire considers them a problem, they must be quite powerful.
“The ones I ran into didn’t seem like much, though.”
“That’s because they’re spread across all statuses and professions. Judging by the fact that the ones you encountered had bomb-making or alchemy skills, they were probably technical specialists.”
It seemed El had already figured out about the train bombing I got caught up in.
“Can you hand this man over to me?” El asked, his expression serious.
So the Empire is interested in someone related to a criminal organization rather than just an illegal resident? I don’t know exactly what El’s status is, but it’s clear he’s not just an ordinary person. I don’t see any problem in handing him over.
“Sure, take him.”
“Thank you. I’ll make sure to repay this favor.”
Not only did I get to unload a troublesome problem, but I also got a promise of repayment. Nice.
“Well then, let’s move him up for now.”
“How are we supposed to carry him?”
“He’s passed out already? This is inconvenient.”
The effects of the stun wrench were impressive as always. The guy had passed out completely while I was talking with El.
“Can’t be helped. We’ll have to carry him ourselves.”
I gestured to El as I spoke.
“I’ll take the right, you take the left.”
“Got it.”
We decided to carry the man with me on the right and El on the left. Together, we hoisted him and took a step forward.
“Gah!”
“Argh!”
“Ugh!”
And we both fell flat on our faces.
Who messed up? Can’t even keep in step?!
Annoyed, I took a deep breath to calm myself. It might’ve been me who tripped first, after all.
[Would you like me to tell you who tripped first?]
‘Shut up.’
“Alright... I’ll call out the steps. Move in sync with my count.”
“Understood.”
This time, we agreed to move in sync with my count. That should prevent any missteps.
“Alright, left foot, left foot.”
“Argh?”
Though a bit wobbly, we managed to move forward steadily—until…
“Gah!”
“Argh!”
“Ugh!”
We fell flat on our faces again, side by side.
“Meow!!”
A cat, startled by the commotion, bolted away before I even noticed it was there.
This doesn’t feel like my fault, though? I swallowed down my rising frustration.
“Alright, one more time.”
We steadied ourselves again.
“Left—”
I called out the step, but—
“Gah!”
“Argh!”
“Ugh!”
“Meooww!!”
We found ourselves kissing the ground again, perfectly in sync.
At this point, even my generous patience was running thin.
“Hey! You clumsy oaf! Can’t you even manage this?!”
“W-What are you saying?! It’s you who tripped first, isn’t it?!”
El shamelessly tried to pin the blame on me.
I had to make sure this brat knew exactly whose fault it was.
“What nonsense are you spouting? It’s you! You! It’s your fault! Are your joints rusty or something? Can’t even aim properly!”
“Th-that’s too harsh of you to say!”
“What’s harsh are your damn joints! Are they aging faster than you, you little brat?!”
“I won’t tolerate any more of this insult!”
“And what are you going to do about it, you rusted-joint brat?!”
“Arghhh!!”
The little brat lost her temper and charged at me, grabbing my hair.
This little… grabbing someone else’s hair, huh?
I was beyond furious, so I grabbed her hair right back.
Her long hair was much easier to grab than mine.
“Ack! Let go!”
“You let go first, you rusty-jointed brat!”
“Arghhh! It hurts!”
“It hurts for me too! Let go! I said, let go!!”
El and I, still clutching each other’s hair, spun in circles before we both toppled over.
“Ugh!”
“Oof!”
Even while we were down, El refused to let go of my hair.
Damn brat is relentless! Her joints may be rusty, but her grip strength is something else!
Of course, I wasn’t about to let go either.
“Let go, you little punk! I’m giving you one chance to let go nicely!”
“You let go first!”
We rolled on the ground, pulling at each other’s hair, refusing to give in.
“Uh… excuse me…”
“You let go first!”
“No, you let go!”
While we were still struggling, I somehow ended up pinned beneath her.
How the hell is this brat so strong?!
“Get off me, you little brat!”
“Let go of my hair first! It hurts!”
As we continued to bicker and wrestle, a voice cut through the chaos.
“I can move now, so I’ll follow you. Please stop fighting.”
El and I froze and turned our heads simultaneously, still clutching each other’s hair.
The illegal squatter we’d been chasing was now standing there, completely fine, watching us.
“Hmm…”
“Ahem.”
We both let out awkward coughs and, as if by mutual agreement, released each other’s hair.
El slowly got up, brushing herself off, and I did the same.
“Follow us.”
“And don’t try anything funny.”
Acting like nothing had happened, we escorted the squatter upstairs.
“Meow…”
At some point, the cat had followed us too, its meow sounding suspiciously like a sigh.
I must’ve been imagining it.
We headed into the secret tavern on the first floor.
“Let’s go, Raniel!”
“Heh! It’s been a while since I’ve done this.”
Inside, the old man gestured with his hand, and bottles of liquor flew into the air.
“Hup!”
My father unsheathed his sword, slicing through the bottle caps, which popped open simultaneously, pouring liquor perfectly into the glasses below.
“…Father.”
“…Grandfather?”
El and I both looked at our respective guardians with utter disbelief.
“Ahem. You’ve arrived?”
“Hmm. Welcome.”
The old man and my father coughed awkwardly, as if their little performance was entirely normal.
Their ridiculous antics were so embarrassing that the memory of El and me fighting was quickly buried.
“So, son. Did you safely escort the princess?”
Then, something even more shocking came out of nowhere, erasing all other thoughts.
“…What?”
“Oh, was that supposed to be a secret?”
“Huh?
I just finished rolling around on the ground, pulling hair with that princess, you know?”
***
A few days had passed since then.
I found out that El was a princess, but nothing really changed.
Honestly, whether she was a princess or not wasn’t my concern, and El was still the same El I knew.
She didn’t demand any formalities because she was royalty either. In fact, she said that between engineers, this casual attitude was appropriate or something like that.
So, I handed over the illegal resident into El’s care, shared email addresses, and thought we’d part ways there.
But she said she’d stay in Leventhesia until the entrance ceremony started.
Apparently, she wanted to search for that black armor a bit more.
Exploring the old castle was pretty fun in its own way.
[And after that, wasn’t it just a cycle of screaming, running, and hair-pulling?]
That did happen, but it’s all a distant memory now.
[Calling something from the other day a ‘distant memory’? Your magnanimity knows no bounds, Master!]
This is 100% sarcasm.
Damn AI brat. Just wait. As soon as I have the facilities, you’re getting disassembled first.
Anyway, after everything in the old castle wrapped up, I was spending a brief period of rest before the academy started.
“Most people are usually anxious and restless while waiting for their test results. Why are you so relaxed?”
And, of course, my father had to interrupt that brief rest.
“Because it’s obvious I’ll pass.”
“I admit you’re strangely smart, but hmm…”
“What’s with the suspicious ‘hmm’?”
“It’s nothing.”
“Anyway, the one you should be worried about isn’t me but Linia.”
I’d nailed both the written and practical exams, so passing was a given.
But Linia, the airhead, was a different story.
Even if her aura level was S or whatever, she still had to meet the minimum standards in other areas.
And then—
“Raniel, your score report’s here!”
They say if you talk about a tiger, it’ll show up.
Linia came running, waving the letter addressed to me with the score report inside.
“What’s the score?”
“Obviously, it’s a perfect score.”
“What are you talking about? You haven’t even opened it yet!”
“I don’t need to see it. My exam was flawless.”
“What if it’s not?”
“Huh?”
Linia gave me a challenging look she must have picked up somewhere.
It was so petty I chuckled and decided to take her challenge.
“If it’s not a perfect score, I’ll buy you a new tablet.”
“Really? You promised!”
Linia’s eyes sparkled at the mention of a new tablet.
She’s getting her hopes up for no reason.
Quietly, I opened the letter and unfolded the score report.
And then—
“…What?”
I couldn’t believe my eyes.
“What? What? Oh?”
Linia couldn’t believe hers either.
No—
“Pfft! What is this? You got 99 out of 100! Hahahaha!”
She burst out laughing.
“No way! Haha! Didn’t you say you didn’t even need to check because it’d be a perfect score? What was it again? Flawless? Hahahaha!”
“You… Shut that mouth…”
“Pfft. Fine, fine, I’ll shut up. But the tablet, you remember, right? *Brand-new*.”
Damn it all.
In the end, I had no choice but to buy Linia a brand-new tablet.
That cursed 99.
I don’t know who graded my exam, but I’ll never forget this grudge.
And so, my first goal after entering the academy was set.
“Find the professor who gave me 99 points… and get my revenge!”
